Young is the New Old

At some point Sunday, while perusing Facebook, I came upon the very sad news that a girl I went to college with has colon cancer. She is 29 and married with a son. 

Yesterday, while checking media coverage, I read a local story about a mother and daughter who were killed when they were hit by a car as they walked near their house. Although their names hadn’t been released, I had a weird feeling that I should keep checking for updates until I found out who these women were. The daughter turned out to be a girl I went to high school with. She was 29.

Obviously these are two different situations, and I’m not trying to compare them at all. I have every hope that the girl I went to college with will fight and beat colon cancer. But, these issues feel like those that should be affecting a different age group. 

The truth is though, they’re probably not. At 29, I can’t deny the fact that I’m getting closer to middle age. I know anyone in their 40s would roll their eyes at me for saying that, but it’s true. I can tell when I look at my skin and see the beginnings of smile lines. Or when I realize that I have a mortgage and a child and a husband and a house in my name. Or when I think about the fact that my mother has been gone for going on four years. At some point, people my age – myself included – became adults and I didn’t even realize it was happening.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I really believe that my life gets better every single day. I’m incredibly blessed. But when will my life peak? At what point will I reach “the happiest I’ve ever been,” after which, things head downhill? I’m not trying to be morbid or depressing, but it’s been in the back of my mind for awhile. Recent events have just brought the thought to the forefront. I’ve heard my grandma say recently that it doesn’t pay to get old. I don’t think she believes that all of the time, but I know she believes it some of the time.

I guess the point here is that some things are just out of our control. Sometimes you’re dealt a really crappy set of cards. Do you live you’re entire life waiting to see if that happens? Not if you want to enjoy it. Throwing all caution to the wind isn’t smart either, but finding the right balance is important. Tomorrow’s never guaranteed. And that’s cliché but so true. I need to do a better job of remembering and believing that so I can stay present in the moment because so many moments are fantastic right now.